NOTE: I WROTE THIS ABOUT A MONTH BACK.
A Book I Must Finish.
I know its been awhile since I've written guys, sorry about that. I've been writing some on my own, but lately I've been too caught up in work and the stress of life to get my lazy ass on this computer and write. I do have a few things on my personal laptop, which inconveniantly has NO internet access. So sorry in advance for that, I'll try to get some more blogs up soon...better yet I might just transfer some random writing from notebooks and old notes in my computer to this blog....not a bad idea.
Anyways, the purpose of this post isnt to wow anyone with my amazing writing abilities....haha just kidding. About the writing abilities, I'm not some pompous ass.
No, guys, this is to put a chapter, or I'd call it a book, behind me for good.
The last year or so I've been struggling with the loss of a couple of friends of mine. I considered them like my family. The siblings I never had. (Please note that I do in fact HAVE siblings, they are just significantly younger then me.) When I say loss, I don't mean that they passed away. I would never want to give a false impression of that magnitude. What I mean is that we simply...stopped being friends.
We never got in a fight. We never told each other to go screw off. We never even said any goodbyes...we kind of just. Fell apart...
Don't you hate when that happens? When there is an aprubt ending to such a great time in your life? When something you thought would last forever comes screeching to a halt? I know many people will relate this to a relationship that has gone sour, but I find it more stabbing when it happens with friendships.
For privacy issues, I'm not going to say any names or any personal information about these two people. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm starting up drama or ruffling up some old dust in the closet. I just need closure. I've tried to talk it out with other friends of mine and that hasn't worked. So what is a girl to do when talking doesn't help? Write of course.
So here is a good bye letter to my lost friends.
Dear _____,
It's been awhile, hasn't it? It's times like these that I want to text you, call you, or just show up at your door and ask you, how've you been? How're you holding up and how's life been treating you? I remember when we couldn't go a couple days without talking. Hell, we couldn't go even a whole SINGLE day without talking. And now here we are, pretty much a year later and we haven't spoken at all.
I still think about all the great times we had together. Sitting up talking all night about nothing and everything. How we'd sit outside and look up at the stars looking for UFOS and god only knows what lol. The countless shitty scary movies we watched, because we were always willing to give any movie a shot. I think back to all the laughs we shared and memories we made. The holidays and inside jokes we shared.
I think about all the hard times you got me through and all the demons you helped me to fight. And I hope I was able to help you in some way through your hard times and rough memories, if even it was only once. I really, genuinly, cared. It was never an act.
And, I want to say I'm sorry. Some people tell me that friends fall apart, and others have told me it's all a process of growing up. Losing friends. But if I hurt either of you in anyway, I apologize. After we stopped contacting each other, I let my pride get in the way. And now it's been so long, I don't even know what I would say or how I would say it..
But most of all I want to thank you. Thank you for being some of the best friends I ever had and giving me some of the best memories I've ever shared with a pair of people. To this day, I still tell my fiance about you two and how much joy you use to bring to my life. Thank you for being there for me even when I was being a heinous bitch, and loving me through all the "ugly times." You taught me how to be myself, and be happy with it...you guys don't know how much that meant and means to me.
At the conclusion of this letter, it's so hard for me to say goodbye. My heart is heavy with the words that I don't want to say. Just know, you guys are always welcome back into my life, if you decide one day that there is room for me in yours. But for now, I'll just say goodbye to the computer screen. Maybe one day this letter will end up on your guys' end.
-Brit
A Book I Must Finish.
I know its been awhile since I've written guys, sorry about that. I've been writing some on my own, but lately I've been too caught up in work and the stress of life to get my lazy ass on this computer and write. I do have a few things on my personal laptop, which inconveniantly has NO internet access. So sorry in advance for that, I'll try to get some more blogs up soon...better yet I might just transfer some random writing from notebooks and old notes in my computer to this blog....not a bad idea.
Anyways, the purpose of this post isnt to wow anyone with my amazing writing abilities....haha just kidding. About the writing abilities, I'm not some pompous ass.
No, guys, this is to put a chapter, or I'd call it a book, behind me for good.
The last year or so I've been struggling with the loss of a couple of friends of mine. I considered them like my family. The siblings I never had. (Please note that I do in fact HAVE siblings, they are just significantly younger then me.) When I say loss, I don't mean that they passed away. I would never want to give a false impression of that magnitude. What I mean is that we simply...stopped being friends.
We never got in a fight. We never told each other to go screw off. We never even said any goodbyes...we kind of just. Fell apart...
Don't you hate when that happens? When there is an aprubt ending to such a great time in your life? When something you thought would last forever comes screeching to a halt? I know many people will relate this to a relationship that has gone sour, but I find it more stabbing when it happens with friendships.
For privacy issues, I'm not going to say any names or any personal information about these two people. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm starting up drama or ruffling up some old dust in the closet. I just need closure. I've tried to talk it out with other friends of mine and that hasn't worked. So what is a girl to do when talking doesn't help? Write of course.
So here is a good bye letter to my lost friends.
Dear _____,
It's been awhile, hasn't it? It's times like these that I want to text you, call you, or just show up at your door and ask you, how've you been? How're you holding up and how's life been treating you? I remember when we couldn't go a couple days without talking. Hell, we couldn't go even a whole SINGLE day without talking. And now here we are, pretty much a year later and we haven't spoken at all.
I still think about all the great times we had together. Sitting up talking all night about nothing and everything. How we'd sit outside and look up at the stars looking for UFOS and god only knows what lol. The countless shitty scary movies we watched, because we were always willing to give any movie a shot. I think back to all the laughs we shared and memories we made. The holidays and inside jokes we shared.
I think about all the hard times you got me through and all the demons you helped me to fight. And I hope I was able to help you in some way through your hard times and rough memories, if even it was only once. I really, genuinly, cared. It was never an act.
And, I want to say I'm sorry. Some people tell me that friends fall apart, and others have told me it's all a process of growing up. Losing friends. But if I hurt either of you in anyway, I apologize. After we stopped contacting each other, I let my pride get in the way. And now it's been so long, I don't even know what I would say or how I would say it..
But most of all I want to thank you. Thank you for being some of the best friends I ever had and giving me some of the best memories I've ever shared with a pair of people. To this day, I still tell my fiance about you two and how much joy you use to bring to my life. Thank you for being there for me even when I was being a heinous bitch, and loving me through all the "ugly times." You taught me how to be myself, and be happy with it...you guys don't know how much that meant and means to me.
At the conclusion of this letter, it's so hard for me to say goodbye. My heart is heavy with the words that I don't want to say. Just know, you guys are always welcome back into my life, if you decide one day that there is room for me in yours. But for now, I'll just say goodbye to the computer screen. Maybe one day this letter will end up on your guys' end.
-Brit
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