This is unlike most of the posts I write, but I was feeling inspired today.
Some people spend days upon days, years upon years, looking for that one special person that will complete them. That one person they can't live without. The singular being that will make them wake up every morning and be happy to be alive.
I'd like to say I was a skeptic to "true" love. I was amongst those that believed in love but never believed it would happen to me. Or maybe it was that I thought everyone was never destined to be with only one other person. That they're were many people for everyone. If one person didn't work out, you dusted yourself off and moved on to the next best thing.
I still believe in this methodology. In a sense. There's those that lose their other half and decide when the best time is to move on. No one should spend the rest of their lives longing for someone they can never have back. A person is lucky to find true love once, never mind time and time again.
Anyways back to the purpose of this post, to jot down a bit of my personal life. I was the typical teenager, believing my "highschool sweetheart" (even though he was five years past high school! lol!) would end up being my one and only. In fact I was so convinced, I moved in with him and gave my whole self to him. Little did I know, that wasn't what real love was. I ended up changing into someone I found that I didn't recognize anymore. I had to work so hard at making him happy and myself happy at the end of the day, just to finally realize that neither of us were really happy when we went to sleep at night. One day, I made the drastic decision to move out of his house and end the relationship, and bought a one way ticket to New York. (I didn't end up going, but that's another blog entirely. Which can conveniently be read here http://huntinghobbits.blogspot.com/2011/06/dear-new-york.html
After my aunt passed away (who you can also read about in my previous posts) a part of myself died right along with her. My Ex would try his hardest to make me happy in my times of sadness, but I never felt complete. I always felt like I could never really be content or happy because that part of her that had filled my heart was now missing.
And that's when I met Charles.
Our meeting was one to be laughed at, through a friend on facebook and unintentionally. Being both shy and a bit introverted, I never opened up to anyone. And he was definitely not my "type" (although, I can never remember really having a type haha.) To be blunt, he was loud, obnoxious, full of himself, and a HUGE flirt. Haha! It still makes me laugh today that such different people were able to cross paths at just an off chance.
But we started talking and literally couldn't stop. A few weeks later we met for the first time, and that night was the first of the rest of my life. It seemed as if Charles and I had known each other in perhaps another life, or we had been destined to meet. Something of that philosophical nature! Haha! That night I told him things I had never told anyone else, and he did the same with me. It seemed as if we had not just barely found each other, it just seemed as if we had found each other again.
The next couple months, we continued to be friends. Being an avid believer that true love rarely occurred, let alone at a fast rate, I lied to myself. Telling myself he was like any other guy that would come and go. But, as evidence of the past nine months has proven, I'm pretty sure he's not going anywhere. And for the first time, I actually believe a guy when he says he's going to stick around.
I never thought that I would be able to describe my perfect match, but now I can eagerly do so. It's someone who will take care of me, but is smart enough to know that I'd rather take care of myself. Someone who will let me be independent but catch me when I stumble over my stupid mistakes. Someone who will jump head first in with me over and over again, no matter how many times we crash and burn. A man who will never tire of my constant chatter (and believe me I talk ALOT) and someone who will argue WITH me instead of against me and someone who will stick up for himself even though it'd be easier to just agree with me. But most of all, someone I'd actually say "yes" to when they ask to marry me. And Charles is all these things and more.
I'm not one to let my feelings show or share my emotions often, even with my fiance. I've always thought that being strong meant not losing control of where my heart takes me. But for the first time, here I am. Letting who ever and their mother who may read this blog see how I feel about someone personal in my life. And for once, I don't care!
So to Charles, I'd just like to say thanks. For showing me that I could trust after being let down so many times, by both people I thought I loved and friends. For loving me for who I am instead of trying to make me into what you might've been looking for. For sticking by me even though I can be insecure and headstrong. For teaching me that I can love another person as much as they love me, and finally letting myself be weak around them. For letting your pride go, so that I could let mine go, and we could be real with one another. Thank you for bringing happy tears to my eyes again and again.
But most of all, I'm happy my aunt has sent you to me. Since you've come into my life, the emptiness that left my heart sorrowful is now filled with the love you've given me and continue to give me every day. I hope I never have to feel that emptiness again, and I hope I can bring you the same amount of happiness you bring me.
So for me, my love life has come to a dead end. But not one of those dead ends you accidentally end up having to turn around, retrace your path and find the actual place you're supposed to be. It's one of those stops were you get out of your car and take a breather, letting the surroundings engulf you. Content of where broken roads and wrong directions have brought you.
To everyone who has yet to find their dead end, take some turns of faith and u-turns of screw ups until you do find it. You'll be surprised how good it feels to stretch your legs after a bumpy trip.
Some people spend days upon days, years upon years, looking for that one special person that will complete them. That one person they can't live without. The singular being that will make them wake up every morning and be happy to be alive.
I'd like to say I was a skeptic to "true" love. I was amongst those that believed in love but never believed it would happen to me. Or maybe it was that I thought everyone was never destined to be with only one other person. That they're were many people for everyone. If one person didn't work out, you dusted yourself off and moved on to the next best thing.
I still believe in this methodology. In a sense. There's those that lose their other half and decide when the best time is to move on. No one should spend the rest of their lives longing for someone they can never have back. A person is lucky to find true love once, never mind time and time again.
Anyways back to the purpose of this post, to jot down a bit of my personal life. I was the typical teenager, believing my "highschool sweetheart" (even though he was five years past high school! lol!) would end up being my one and only. In fact I was so convinced, I moved in with him and gave my whole self to him. Little did I know, that wasn't what real love was. I ended up changing into someone I found that I didn't recognize anymore. I had to work so hard at making him happy and myself happy at the end of the day, just to finally realize that neither of us were really happy when we went to sleep at night. One day, I made the drastic decision to move out of his house and end the relationship, and bought a one way ticket to New York. (I didn't end up going, but that's another blog entirely. Which can conveniently be read here http://huntinghobbits.blogspot.com/2011/06/dear-new-york.html
After my aunt passed away (who you can also read about in my previous posts) a part of myself died right along with her. My Ex would try his hardest to make me happy in my times of sadness, but I never felt complete. I always felt like I could never really be content or happy because that part of her that had filled my heart was now missing.
And that's when I met Charles.
Our meeting was one to be laughed at, through a friend on facebook and unintentionally. Being both shy and a bit introverted, I never opened up to anyone. And he was definitely not my "type" (although, I can never remember really having a type haha.) To be blunt, he was loud, obnoxious, full of himself, and a HUGE flirt. Haha! It still makes me laugh today that such different people were able to cross paths at just an off chance.
But we started talking and literally couldn't stop. A few weeks later we met for the first time, and that night was the first of the rest of my life. It seemed as if Charles and I had known each other in perhaps another life, or we had been destined to meet. Something of that philosophical nature! Haha! That night I told him things I had never told anyone else, and he did the same with me. It seemed as if we had not just barely found each other, it just seemed as if we had found each other again.
The next couple months, we continued to be friends. Being an avid believer that true love rarely occurred, let alone at a fast rate, I lied to myself. Telling myself he was like any other guy that would come and go. But, as evidence of the past nine months has proven, I'm pretty sure he's not going anywhere. And for the first time, I actually believe a guy when he says he's going to stick around.
I never thought that I would be able to describe my perfect match, but now I can eagerly do so. It's someone who will take care of me, but is smart enough to know that I'd rather take care of myself. Someone who will let me be independent but catch me when I stumble over my stupid mistakes. Someone who will jump head first in with me over and over again, no matter how many times we crash and burn. A man who will never tire of my constant chatter (and believe me I talk ALOT) and someone who will argue WITH me instead of against me and someone who will stick up for himself even though it'd be easier to just agree with me. But most of all, someone I'd actually say "yes" to when they ask to marry me. And Charles is all these things and more.
I'm not one to let my feelings show or share my emotions often, even with my fiance. I've always thought that being strong meant not losing control of where my heart takes me. But for the first time, here I am. Letting who ever and their mother who may read this blog see how I feel about someone personal in my life. And for once, I don't care!
So to Charles, I'd just like to say thanks. For showing me that I could trust after being let down so many times, by both people I thought I loved and friends. For loving me for who I am instead of trying to make me into what you might've been looking for. For sticking by me even though I can be insecure and headstrong. For teaching me that I can love another person as much as they love me, and finally letting myself be weak around them. For letting your pride go, so that I could let mine go, and we could be real with one another. Thank you for bringing happy tears to my eyes again and again.
But most of all, I'm happy my aunt has sent you to me. Since you've come into my life, the emptiness that left my heart sorrowful is now filled with the love you've given me and continue to give me every day. I hope I never have to feel that emptiness again, and I hope I can bring you the same amount of happiness you bring me.
So for me, my love life has come to a dead end. But not one of those dead ends you accidentally end up having to turn around, retrace your path and find the actual place you're supposed to be. It's one of those stops were you get out of your car and take a breather, letting the surroundings engulf you. Content of where broken roads and wrong directions have brought you.
To everyone who has yet to find their dead end, take some turns of faith and u-turns of screw ups until you do find it. You'll be surprised how good it feels to stretch your legs after a bumpy trip.
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